Sunday, May 31, 2009

I Don't Know What to Call This One...

I have lost another chicky baby. Matilda got pretty sick yesterday. Today she gave up. She was laying down this evening, having a hard time breathing. She was pretty lifeless. My poor girl! She passed peacefully. She was such a pretty baby, my little chipmunk. She also had the sweetest tweet. 

Matthew 10:29-31 has brought me some comfort. Jesus says,"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of the Father. And even the hairs on your head are numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." He watches over the sparrow. Surely He watches over my chicky babies.

While I was watching Matilda laying there struggling harder and harder I was reminded of another baby that I once cared for. I don't know what her given name was. I knew her as Eun mi. Here she is.

I took care of  her on her fist night at the orphanage in China. She had been abandoned near the North Korean border. By God's grace she had been brought to the House of Love. There was much rejoicing and prayer upon her arrival. That must be a bit what it is like in heaven when one of God's children come back to him by accepting His son as their savior. That is a cool thought. Anyway, we took her to the hospital. They said that it was a miracle that she was alive and sent us home. It was the dead of winter in northern China after all. The hospital was not very modern at all. Here she would have been rushed to the NICU.

Mother Anne asked me to care for her over night. I kept her on my chest most of the night to make sure that she was breathing. I fed her often. She seemed to have trouble eating. Later we would discover that she had a cleft palate. It was interior, with no outward sign. She was precious and tiny. I hardly slept that night. I was so worried about her. I prayed over her and sang to her.

The next day I moved with her to the baby nursery where she wouldn't be held as much. It was hard to leave her there. I knew that she was in good hands, and that she was loved. We left the orphanage for Tianjin a few days later. When we called the orphanage before leaving China we learned that Eun mi had passed away. That was the first baby that I ever lost. We cried, mourned and rejoiced that she had known such love and care for a few weeks. Some pictures of Eun mi were shown to doctors back in the states and they believe that she had a heart condition as well. Poor girl. How we loved you! I can't wait to meet her in heaven! 

Thanks God for reminding me of Eun mi. I guess that I have done a lot of care taking in my life, and suffered many passing on. I don't know the purpose of it all. I do know that I trust God and I thank Him for my soft heart.

The other baby chickies have been lectured-no more giving in or giving up! You must stick around and stay strong. I am going to try to hit the hay. It has been a long weekend.

I will keep you posted.

1 comment:

Joy said...

Thank you for sharing that story. I think I needed a little grounding today. Everything has its purpose.

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