The Human Pin Cushion

The human pin cushion. That is what it feels like, anyway. Once the IVF process gets going there are needles, needles everywhere. Shots daily. Blood drawn almost daily. It is an odd feeling to be in a doctors office full of women with bandages around their arms at their elbows. It's an odd sisterhood. You know you are all there to achieve the same thing. Maybe you have different issues, but you all need the help of doctors and science to become pregnant. You wonder how long they have been trying. Second marriage late in life? Hoping for a first or fourth child? Is she a surrogate or an egg donor? Some people share their stories. Most don't.

You go to the same office so many times that four days feels like a month. Your arms bruise from blood being drawn daily. You hope that no one thinks that you have a new drug habit. Do you wear 3/4 length sleeves just so that no one can see the bruising? You wonder if you can possibly replenish all of the blood that they have taken out of your body and then become pregnant! And on top of it all the hormones give everyone a slightly different reaction- weight gain, weight loss, hot flashes, fluid retention, insomnia, nausea. Thankfully my side effects have been minimal. Mostly a bit of sleep interruption. I wake up really early. Annoyingly early. Afternoon naps become a must.

All of the blood work and doctors appointments are to monitor your egg growth. First they look at how many follicles you have. Those have potential to make eggs. These are seen through ultrasound and not the warm jelly on your belly kind. Let's just say that you get real familiar with that ultrasound tech! the blood work watches different levels of hormones and your medications are adjusted accordingly. It is really amazing what they can do and see. By about day 5-6 of your cycle it can be determined how many eggs your body is going to mature. Amazing!!!

For me, my first cycle of IVF ended there. My body was not producing the amount of eggs that it should be. When you are going to be put under anesthesia for a doctor to retrieve tiny eggs from your follicles you want it to be worthwhile. I was not producing enough to make it worthwhile. It was devastating. But now, a few days from that point, I know that it was a good decision. We'll start again with my next cycle. In the meantime I get to take hormones orally. That is much easier than a shot! But I know that those shots will be there to greet me soon.

Here's hoping for more eggs next time around!