Friday, May 18, 2012

Let's Try This Again

Wow, I didn't mean to take that long of a hiatus! The months have flown by. I have had some ideas and things that I have wanted to write about, but nothing moved me. Not that something is moving me now, but it is time to brush off this keyboard. Time is passing by.

 I have a small garden planted and plants are starting to bear fruit! Tomatoes are green and swelling on the vine. Sugar snap peas are ready to pick. I have cucumbers, beans, herbs, lettuce and peppers all starting to grow and show themselves. I am hoping to really enjoy caring for these plants, eating from them and sharing a harvest! Our grass is greener than it has ever been! All of our hard work last year paid off. I love walking barefoot in it and just plain looking at it is pretty nice too.

 I have been dealing with some health issues and been debating on what and how to share. I know that some people know my story and where I am at now and many don't. I am still eating dairy free, gluten free, corn free, oat free and mostly sugar and yeast free. I am perfectly ok with eating this way. My body responds well to it. It is worth it. However I have been dealing with some seriously frustrating fatigue. I am in the process of blood work and working with a naturopath figure out what is going on. I have confidence that we can figure this out!

What I have been struggling with sharing is that we have been dealing with infertility. It is not something that a lot of people talk about, much less expect to be an issue with themselves. I certainly never expected to deal with it. I just assumed that we would decide to grow our family, ceonceive, give birth.... Easy, right? Not somuch for has been at least two years of trying to conceive for us. Longer, if you really want to know, but we have been keeping a closer eye on things for ovr a year. My health issues certainly are playing a role in this and I have no doubt that as we figure out what is causing and contributing to my fatigue that my body will get healthier and closer to being able to carry a baby. In the process of trying to find out reasons for infertility I was diagnosed with endometriosis. There have been scans and tests. There will be more scans and then surgery. Hopefully my doctor will be able to remove some cysts from my ovaries and this will increase my chances becoming pregnant.

 I don't share this for pity's sake. I was actually moved on mother's day by a couple of friends who let me know that they knew the desire of my heart to be a mother. They were lifting me up in prayer on mother's day, praying that one day I would become a mother. This meant so much to me! It made me think about other women I now whose hearts desire is to become a mom but they have yet to have that happen. It is something that isn't talked about a whole lot. Something that you live life walking around with tucked inside of your heart. Something that you long for. It made me think that maybe it is something that we need to talk about. So I am going to try to share some of my story as it unfolds. Share a some of my feelings, the hard times and the good times. I hope that this can help someone else struggling with infertility and walking down this road.

 There are other things going on of course. I will try to get back to writing, sharing garden tips, chicken tips and little snippets of my life. I have missed writing. Here we go again!!!!


Jacoline said...

Thanks for sharing, Kara. It is indeed something that is kept silent, but the hurt, dissapoinment and longing is huge.
You are in my prayers! And like the girls on mothersday said; you are a mother to many already. Keep faith!

Jessica I. said...

Hi friend! I just saw this post. Thanks for sharing any part of your journey. I think of you often and say a prayer when I do. :)

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