How Do You Grow A Family?

This is a question that has been on my mind for awhile now. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Most families grow from two to three when they've had some intimate time together at the right time of the month. Many times new life happens unplanned. Sometimes it is waited for and hoped for, planned and charted. But what happens when your family doesn't grow that way? How do you go from two to three when all of your best laid plans don't happen?

I guess I am not too surprised that my "plans" for parenthood haven't worked out the way I thought they would. I mean, I thought that I would get married in my early 20's, pop out a few babies and live happily ever after. The man of my dreams didn't show up for quite some time. Late 20's replaced early 20's. Getting out of debt put the longing for children in the background. When we got around to being ready for children the road has been long and winding. Growing our family is taking time and dedication, with lots of obstacles along the way!

It's hard to watch your friends families grow when you want yours to be growing with them. It is hard to  answer the question, " Do you have any kids?", when you so desperately want them and know that your age says that you should have them already. Do you tell your story of trying for years to have children to every person who asks? Of course not. But it is difficult to not become calloused and put up walls.

Back to my question. How do you grow a family, especially in our circumstances? My mind has swirled with these thoughts for weeks, maybe even months. Do you adopt? Do you go through IVF? Do you foster children? Do you remain just the two of you and enjoy life together? I have gone back and forth, up and down. It is a difficult decision no matter which one you choose.

I guess I should explain our circumstances. I have Stage III Endometriosis. There are four stages. Basically it is in a lot of places, attaches one ovary to my uterus, caused cysts on my other ovary that were removed during surgery, and could grow anywhere in my body but especially in my abdominal cavity. It circulates in your blood stream and causes inflammation and many other responses that can't really be tested. At this stage is causes infertility quite often. Our chances of becoming pregnant on our own are very very small.

I was disheartened to find out this news. I was sad, scared, felt broken and wondered about our future- our family. I started doing research on endometriosis, especially stage III or IV. I read online. I read in books. I read and read. I found out that with IVF- In Vitro Fertilization- women like me have a really good chance of becoming pregnant. I never thought that I would consider IVF. NEVER. But I wasn't where I am today. It wasn't my only hope of conceiving and carrying our baby. It was scary and sciency. That was before I learned so much about it.

IVF has come a long way since its inception. Rates are quite good. Doctors control medications well and aren't trying to get you to freeze football teams worth of embryos. The research so far shows no difference between children conceived conventionally and conceived via IVF. No major illnessess. No major deformities. People conceived through IVF are now having children of their own. And for women with endometriosis it works well.

After much soul searching, interviewing doctors, prayers and research we have decided to move forward with IVF. I have always wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth. Call me a weirdo, I know- at least for the childbirth part. This may be my only chance to experience these. I have never been opposed to adoption and still open to it, but IVF depends heavily on age and egg reserve. Right now those are in our favor. So, now is the time to move forward in it.

IVF isn't talked about a whole lot. Heck. Infertility isn't talked about very much. I want to talk about it. I hope to share my journey here, give you a little glimpse behind the scenes. I will go into some detail, but not too much detail. There may be talk of shots or cycles, hopes, fears, hormones and surely highs and lows. There may be sleepless nights, hot flashes, and swollen ovaries. There will be a journey. For that you can be sure.

You ready? Here we go......

Precious Memories

Precious Memories, how they linger....

Last month we made some precious memories. We attended a dedication service for our friends' son Grant. His mommy and daddy are some of our dearest friends and Grant is our nephew by urban family.

I was at the hospital shortly after he was born:

And I love him so!!

At the dedication Mandy and Chris told us how they want to raise Grant to have faith in the Lord and how we can help them do that. It was special to have that time together and to be considered important in Grant's life. We prayed for him and it was moving to be able, with these ones that I love so dearly, to talk to our heavenly Father. What a gift.

It was also special because my parents were there. Mandy has been in our lives since we were in high school and is a part of the family. It made me long for and imagine the day when my parents will pray for and uplift OUR children. What a blessing! I got all teary eyed with my dad as a song was played about little girls growing up. I love our friends and family and I love that we can share God together as well. 

You are a cutie Grant!

We love you and look forward to watching you grow up. You bring us and your family great joy!!

Family Time

Thanksgiving week we made the trip up to North Carolina to see Dave's Mom, sister and their families. I just thought that I would share some of our pictures with you.

Olivia and her chickens! She loves them. I guess owning chickens runs in the family!

Our newest nephew, Sebastian. He is so big! This was our first time meeting him.

Walter and Olivia in their new jammies!

They love Uncie Dave's gadgets and gizmos!

Mezmerized

Serious Sebastian

I caught a smile!! What a cutie!!

We love you guys! Can't wait to see you at Christmas!

Family

I am up early today. I decided to drive my grandmother up to Chattanooga to visit her sisters and their families. It is a day trip. It will exhaust me. But it is worth it.

My grandmother is having a total knee replacement on Wednesday. The whole family chips in time at the hospital and aftercare facility. Her recovery will probably be long. This is her second knee to be replaced. They say it is a harder recovery.

So, we are making this trip knowing that it will be awhile before she can get back up there. He brother in law is quite sick. I haven't seen him in a while. This could be our last time to visit with him. The heaviness of this fact weighs on me as I prepare for today. He is a man that I respect a lot. More like an uncle than a great uncle. One of my great aunts passed unexpectedly earlier this year. She was one of the youngest and oh, how her boys mourned. I will never forget their mourning cries and how they loved their Mama. That was the last time I was up there.

I just thought of a visit that I had with her quite a few years back. We were looking through old photo albums. There were four sisters in their family. She had some pictures of them sunbathing. I had never seem them! Let me tell you, my grandma and her sisters turned some heads in their day. They certainly were lookers!!!

Think of us today as we drive through the green hills. As I do my best to listen to my grandma tell the same stories over and over. As we visit with loved ones. As we mourn a little bit. And as we celebrate life a little bit.

A Summer Wedding

Here are some pictures from our short trip to Boone. Gotta enjoy those memories with family!

The beautiful bride Jessica, Dave's cousin.

Grandma with her Great grandbabies

Dave and his sister Katherine

Our niece getting kisses from her great grandmother. You don't get those everyday!

Katherine's husband Michael and their smiley boy

It was a really short trip. We were worn out when we got home! It was so great to see everyone.

Spring Break 2010: Part 2

And the party started!! Here are my great aunt and uncle, two classy people who know how to throw a party! Can you believe that they have been married for 50 years? I hope that Dave and I can have as much fun and energy as they have when we make our 50th anniversary.

All of the family that made it in for the celebration. I hope that someone got a better picture!!

Sisters!

Cousins: Ok, it is sideways, but I am not savvy enough to change it and I kind of like it!

My camera was on a funky setting, but I love this one of Mom and Dad.

Dave and I with my favorite Colorado cousins.

Me and my Momma

My grandmother and her two brothers.

Boy, what a night. Not calling them old, but all of those old people can party harder than I can. Dave and I headed out about 10:30 and the party was just getting going!! Thanks so much for all of the fun and allowing us to celebrate with you. We had so much fun. We are so blessed by our family and that they are our friends!!

Spring Break 2010

We had a busy and fun spring break this year! We started out our week with a trip to North Carolina for our nephew's first birthday. Somehow we managed not to get any pictures of him. We did however get a super cute picture of Dave and our niece! 

We came home for a few days and then headed down to Florida. We stopped in Orlando for a night and visited with a friend that I have had for a seriously long time. It helps that Dave gets along well with her husband. We had a really nice picnic dinner and then headed to their kickball game. Here we are picnicking. 

Next stop, Tampa! We drove from Orlando to Tampa for my great aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary. It was two days of food, family and fun. Our whole gang from Georgia went down minus my sister and her family. We got to their house for lunch and it was so great to see everyone!!

Here is myself, my mom and my Nana

Part two coming up: The anniversary party!!

Wishing You all a Merry Christmas...

Today is one of my favorite days of the year, Christmas Eve. It is a long standing tradition in my family for us to gather together on this special night, exchange gifts and enjoy each other's company. When I was little the anticipation of gifts made dinner seem so long! We would entertain ourselves by playing with candles, searching under the tree for gifts and playing games. My cousins and I shared such joy in passing out all of the gifts. After everyone opened their gifts we were glued to the t.v. to see where Santa's sleigh was. We would come home and Mom and I would watch midnight mass on t.v. before going to bed.

They were magical nights. Some years we started the evening at a church service, others simply around the table. Every year we cherished our time together. And we still do. These days it isn't about the gifts anymore. It is about being together. Celebrating Christ's birth and the year that has past, getting ready to rejoice in the next one. Everyone makes an effort to be there. It is rare that anyone misses our special night together. This is the big one!

We have simplified our time together even more in the past couple of years. Instead of cooking a big dinner we switched to spaghetti so that the focus was on family time, not cooking. This year we have taken it a step further- take out pizza! I am really excited about this. No fuss paper plates and just good time together.

Dave has to work tonight, the duties of a new job. I will miss him. We'll have breakfast with my folks tomorrow and head out for his family tradition. They meet together the day after Christmas! These family times are our favorites. This year the focus is definitely not on gifts but on time spent together. I love it and hope that we can keep it this way.

Do you have any special traditions for this special day?

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Our Week Away: Part 1

We recently were away for whole week! We never go away for a whole week. I thought that I should give you a glimpse of our time away.

Our first stop was in North Carolina. We spent the night with Dave's sister Katherine and her family. We also celebrated Karen's birthday. She is my mother-in-law. Here is a shot of Karen Dave and our niece Olivia.

Katherine was the first person that I knew to own chickens. Here is her current brood. Aren't they pretty?

The necklace fairy (aka Auntie Kara) left Olivia some necklaces overnight. She liked to call them balls. I guess that technically she is right. Here she is showing them off.

We can't leave out baby Walter. Remember how tiny he was? Not anymore. Here is the little chunkster. What a cutie!

I couldn't resist a shot of him crying. He doesn't cry often, but even his crying is cute. What a sweet little guy.

We left North Carolina and headed for Pittsburgh. It was a long drive to spend the night with friends. We stayed up late into the night catching up. Their boys woke us up, we got ready and headed out on the town. We were so tired and busy that I forgot to take pictures.

After lunch we headed to Cleveland. Stay tuned...

This really happened by accident...

On my chicken adventure, I truly thought that I would get some day old chicks to get my small flock started. They are so cute and fluffy! I pictured opening the box when they arrived and them chirping out, " Are you my Mother?" just like in the Dr. Seuss book.

My plans changed quickly on Friday. A teacher at school had borrowed a small incubator to hatch some eggs in her classroom. She asked me to help and we anxiously awaited our shipment of eggs. They finally arrived at lunch time and when we opened the box there were 4 eggs instead of 3. Oh no! Our classroom incubator only holds 3 eggs! What would we do with a 4th egg? I quickly decided that I would try to incubate it. 

First I hatched a plan for a basic incubator consisting of a light bulb and a box. Driving home from work with my little egg in the seat next to me, I remembered that my uncle had an incubator. He had just hatched ducklings. Whew. Now I knew that I had an incubator, but was it worth it to hatch just one egg? I contacted Little Gem Hatchery. I had been in contact with them about picking up some day old chicks. They are just a 40 minute drive away. I decided to see if they had any hatching eggs. 

I got a response back very quickly! Ginny and Lee told me that they had a lot of hatching eggs ready and waiting. Could I pick them up on Sunday? Woohoo!!! I was all set. I followed the instructions that they gave me for my one lonely egg and waited anxiously. Sunday morning Dave and I drove out to the hatchery. We saw all kinds of chickens and roosters, guineas, ducks, geese and a turkey! Ginny had already filled up two egg cartons for us filled with different kind of eggs. After our tour and some advice, I paid for our eggs and headed home.

Here is what we got!
 

I really wanted to hatch Cuckoo Marans. They are pretty birds and lay pretty eggs. Yes, I judge a chicken by it's looks and eggs. Actually, I was looking for 3 things when I was looking at chicks and it applies to getting hatching eggs, too. First was what a chicken looks like. Like any pet, you want to enjoy looking at it every day. There are so many varieties! I looked for hours online. The second factor was egg production and looks. I want a decent amount of eggs and pretty eggs. I love speckled eggs, brown eggs, almond eggs. Ok, I love any eggs. The third thing I looked for was the chicken's disposition. I wanted a docile chicken that did not tend to go broody. That means that she gets moody and wants to sit on her eggs all of the time. Little Gem Hatchery has chickens that fit my bill! 

Ok, our varieties and total.

3  Blue Laced Red Wyandotte

3  Blue Cuckoo Maran

3  Welsummer

6  Blue splash Maran

6  Lakenvelder

6  Golden Lakenvelder

12 Cuckoo Maran

1 Black Australorp(form the classroom shipment)

Whew! Let's look at them again.

After they go into the incubator it will take 21 days for them to hatch. That gives us an expected arrival date of May 24th. I have to turn them 3 times a day so that the embryos do not stick to their shells. We don't have a fancy automatic egg turner. The eggs are not viable until they are in the incubator. I mean, they aren't embryos until then, just egg and sperm hanging out separately. Interesting huh? I hope that all of the eggs hatch. If I do my job, we should have success. Some never develop and that can't be helped. This will be an adventure!

40 baby chicks! I will have to sell some to good homes and the hatchery said that they would take back any we can't handle or any roosters. You can't always distinguish a boy from a girl chick for 3-6 months. It depends on the variety of chicken. We only want girls so that they can lay eggs. You don't need a rooster to have eggs. 

I think I will start sharing some things that I learned from my class on here. What do you guys think? It was so informative! They really are not difficult to care for. They take work just like any pet. 

I will keep you all updated on the incubating process and on our coop building process.

Thinking about having chickens in your backyard? Maybe I can help! I am going to have some chicks soon and I know a really handy carpenter who can build your coop. =)

Chicks in the City

Last Saturday I spent the day taking a class on chickens. Yes. Chickens.It was at Oakhurst Community Gardens in Decatur taught by a great couple, Andy and Jen. Andy is the Chicken Whisperer. He has tons of links on his blog with good chicken information. Warning: It is addictive!

 The class was so great. It was really a crash course on keeping chickens in your backyard. I have been dreaming about this for a while now. Dave is on board and we have been trying to get our backyard ready to build a coop. We have a ways to go. I think we're gonna need a bobcat to rip out old growth though! We can do it! Anyone want to help?

Here are some pics from the coop tour. We got to go to local homes that keep chickens to see their coops, chickens and ask questions. I went with my friend Kristie. We rode our bikes all over Decatur to see these chicken homes. We felt like amazing women.

Here are a few chickens scratching through some hay and scraps.

Here is a pretty lady. I think that she is striking in her black and red ensemble! The ladies were enjoying the shade of this holly bush. And let me just tell you, it was a hot day! The hottest in quite a while!

This was my favorite coop, well both of ours really. The owner did a great job. He took the best options from different coops and put them together into this one. We are going to try to recreate this in our backyard. I know that Dave can do it. I am so glad that I have such a handy husband!

These are some pretty ladies feeding in another yard. I love the black and white look!

And last a such a pretty buff chicken.

I am hooked. I can't wait to have chickens. They are so cute, are great pets and they give you something back. Yes, the Sutton farm may open it's gates sooner than we ever imagined. Naw, we are just making good use of the space we have. Chickens seem like the next step to being more self sufficient. And they are so darn adorable! More chicken talk to come!!!